The emotional bonds we make under the provocation of traumatic wounds are often dysfunctional, often involving us with people who are dangerous, shaming, or exploitative. A person believes she or he is in a relationship for something like love or companionship. In truth, her or his inappropriate, abuse partner reminds or her or him of his or her familiar basis of shame. She or he stays in a dangerous, destructive situations because they subliminally find that the abuse makes them feel right at home. It was dangerous growing up and acting like a wounded child to get loved. It will remain dangerous being an adult wounded child trying to get love. The results are the same. Addicts will get what they still crave from their original abusers: shame from "adult" relationships.