Jacob left treatment shortly after our group meeting. His tears demonstrated his inner conflict between the familiar ramparts of his rigid intellectuality and his defiance and fear of spiritual uncertainty. I believe that bridge that leads to the world of spiritual connection leads us to our sense of preciousness. Jacob was unwilling to cross it.
We need to trust in the preciousness of ourselves, which allows us to recognize the preciousness in others. and then we need to trust in a power greater than ourselves, which binds humans together in a community of love or, at least, respect. Without this trust, we cannot begin to chisel away at the defenses of dysfunctional adaptation, which hides our true and precious beings... our authentic selves.
On the spiritual level the barrier against entry becomes most powerful. The hold on the mundane world world is strong. The doubts in or intellectual minds have contempt for the mysteries of higher truths. But our trust in a higher power creates the possibility of connection with forces greater than ourselves. These forces give us our serenity believe that we belong to the universal order. Through faith, we become a part of the beneficent operation of the universe, rather than apart from it.
That inner knowing can then develop into a sense of connection, or segway, with the world. That sense of belonging, of feeling, "at home," gives us the optimistic energy to perform our best work. For the first time in our lives, we addicts, we feel we are among friends. Our lives become conscious expressions of our fitness to be alive and healthy; we experience being present in a world that cares for us.
To live this blessing, we must be restored to wholeness; we must recover our preciousness so long buried beneath the rubble of our wounding. We must bring together all the recovery tools we have begun to use in therapy. These tools include the ability to know our emotional wants, the willingness to be vulnerable and share respectfully our knowledge of ourselves with our partners.
Sexuality is at the heart of our life force. It is our creative urge, and it is not only expressed through sexually explicit acts. Because our sexuality is to linked to the essence of who we are, it is inexplicity interwoven into our spirituality. Healthy sex supports the awakening of our soul, our inner knowing and truth. It opens the possibility of deeper connection with others. This does not mean that the spiritual connectivity of sexual intercourse is memorable only because it is uplifting. It is. It is also memorable because it is intensely pleasurable. When we willingly and consciously enter the act of lovemaking, we offer our precious humanity to the care of our partners, and we accept our partners' offer of the precious humanity for our own safekeeping. This is an awesome act of spiritual communion, and a responsibility not to be taken lightly. To betray it would plunge us addicts back to where we were when we were first betrayed, when we were taught that love and betrayal were the same thing.