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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Seductive Role Sex

For women, seductive role sex does not have its end goal in sexual intercourse. The woman flirts and seduces puffing herself up with a sense of control, power and allure. But once she has seduced her object of attentions, she cuts him off, sublimating her anger and rage. If she knew why she was so angry, she would not feel so powerful. She would probably feel like the powerless child who is still driving her adult behavior.

The seducer who is overly looking to force herself into a sexual relationship is ultimately frightened of the consequences. She believes that, if she gives the man sex, he will leave her. She will lose control and power. The paradox is lost on her.

What lies behind the anger and rage is the fear of being abandoned. But why do these women seduce in the first place, if they are frightened that the consequence of seduction is abandonment?

Such an individual may have had a father who was emotionally unavailable or who sexually acted out with women whom he used and tossed away. The daughter tries to seduce her negligent father into intimacy, but the fails. To further her cause with him, she will examine his taste in women to see what attracts him. She sees that he's attracted to sexually seductive women, and she sees that he abandons them.

So she is caught in a bind. When she wants a man, she thinks she must be seductive. When she gets the man in her clutches, she must flee from him in order not to be abandoned.

The dysfunctionality of this emotional Catch-22 is blatant, but the seductive woman often deludes herself into believing that because "she can get anyone she wants," she is in control and is powerful and desirable. She fails to recognize that her sexual seductiveness leaves her not only sexually unsatisfied, but filled with shame and fear.

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