Take, for example, Max, who pursues an inappropriate sexual relationship with a subordinate at work. Or Jill, who becomes a dominatrix so she can role-play torture or degradation of herself or her tricks. Or Milton, who spends hours each day downloading pornography onto his computer and masturbating. All of these are overt aggressive behaviors that attempt to mitigate shame and pain.
A more convoluted manner of mitigating shame and pain combines passive-aggressive anger with aggressive anger.