Recovery is restoration of the soul. This deep process may seemingly have a life of its own, an unspoken agenda that you have been invited to join. The journey is more intuitive than intelligent, more feeling than thinking, more being than doing, more releasing than controlling. It is a journey that feels counter-intuitive to all that your adapted self has taught you about yourself and about life. That's where the challenge lies; it's where, if your courage prevails, victorious results are realized.
I have mentioned twelve-step groups throughout this book, and I believe they are very helpful to recovering sex addicts. The Twelve-Step model for sexual addiction was born of of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. However, the focus and language involve sexual issues. The twelve steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous are:
- We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior--that our lives had become unmanageable.
- We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God and we understood God.
- We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- We humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.
- We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
- We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- We continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
- We continued through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.